Excuse me, Ladies?
by Siriusgirl1
Summary: All he wanted to know was if they had seen the one who had, in his own words, 'freed' them from their 'pitiful' existence as submissive Zanpakutou spirits. But, as he watched the pair continue to argue, he couldn't help but wonder about his fellow spirits


**A/N**

Okay, I know I should be working on my other _Bleach_ story –and I am, believe me, I am- but the idea for this just struck me (and wouldn't leave me be) after watching episode 238. While I loved the 'serious' discussion between Ukitake and Kyouraku, the best moment for me was the interaction between Haineko and Tobiume. I find them quite hilarious –and, well, I suppose I can see a bit of their wielders in them. In a way. At least a bit of Matsumoto, because we really haven't seen much of what Hinamori's character was like before the whole 'Aizen-sama' saga.

Anyways, this little piece is from the scene where the two spirits were arguing about who'd find Hyourinmaru (the poor guy...er, spirit...) first etcetera, etcetera. It's also where Senbonzakura scares the heck out of them by his sudden appearance. I sort of played with the either of Senbonzakura having been there for a while, but going unnoticed, from Haineko's line 'How long have you been there?'

Um...I think that's it.

I apologise in advance for the lack of sense this might make.

**Disclaimer: **This is all the property and creation of the awesome Kubo Tite.

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**Excuse me, Ladies...?**

He stared at the two female spirits, once more grateful for the warrior's mask that covered his face, for he doubted his reputation as a fearsome warrior would have suited the expression currently on his face.

"_You're_ just jealous of me."

"Hah! There'd have to be something there for me to be jealous _of_."

"Oh, my mistake. You're just jealous of _this_." The 'this' was followed by a rather...indescribable...wriggle-slash-shake-slash-some-form-of-movement-or-the-other by the feline spirit, and a smirk found itself on her face at the expression that flashed across her shorter companion's face.

"Why would I be jealous of so many layers of fat?" sniffed the long haired spirit, looking away rather disgustedly.

He supposed the cat-like spirit was offended by the remark, judging by the expression that crossed _her _face, before the lazy smirk returned.

"There's a difference between 'fat' and 'curves', _little girl_," she said, grinning, "though I wouldn't expect _you_ to know it."

Deciding that now was as good a time as any, the long haired, mask-wearing Zanpakutou spirit walked forward, emerging from the shadows of the trees he had been taking refuge under, in order to better observe the fighting pair he had coincidentally happened upon.

Shaking his head inwardly at their nonsensical bickering, he quickly reminded himself of what he was there to do.

"Excu—"

"I am _far_ more intelligent than you could ever hope to be, you silly _cat_!"

"Hah! Intelligence is only one part of the package; you've got to have beauty too, you know..."

The shorter spirit whirled around, the sound of a jingling bell following the movement.

"Well, clearly, you're lacking both parts of that so-called 'package'," she said, with a sniff, before she closed her eyes. "So if all you're going to do is bother me, I think I'm going to head off on my own. I think I'm more than perfectly capable of finding him without you hindering my progress."

The rather...well endowed spirit snorted, crossing her arms over said well-endowed chest.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. You're nothing but a little _girl_; he'd be _way_ more interested in listening to what I have to say, when I find him. Which, you know, won't take too long, seeing how I have _far_ more experience than you do..."

"Oh please," started the long haired spirit, shaking her head, "what type of experience could you possibly have? Experience on how to be a nuisance to those around you, maybe?"

This time, it was the feline spirit's turn to take offence.

"Why you little—" She trailed off, clenching her hands into fists, and once again, the thus far unnoticed figure decided that it was a good time for him to both make his presence known _and_ pose the question he so dearly wanted an answer to.

He would normally not bother with making his presence known, but given what he was after, and given who he was dealing with, he would much rather prefer to reduce any possible chance of him being attacked by either of the female Zanpakutou spirits if he were to surprise them.

Of course, he was quite certain that he would be able to handle what they would throw at him, but he would much rather save the energy required to deflect any possible attack from them. Who knew what he might need said energy for, anyway?

"Excu—"

"So, if you're done with this pointless bickering, could you _please_—"

"I'm not the one who started this, you know! It was you, with all of that pent up jealousy." The short haired spirit waved a hand casually. "But, you're right, we do need to find him. And don't worry, _when_ I find him, I'll be ready with that pair of glasses." The grin was back on her lips. "Because, you know, your eyesight is _really_, really bad..."

"Ohh...?" Her companion smiled. "In that case, I'll have that brain I promised ready, since there's no doubt I'll find him first." There was a pause as she studied her taller companion. "Then again, I might not be able to follow through with that, because I don't think I'll be able to find a brain that moves slow enough to suit your intelligence. Or lack of it."

The well-endowed spirit looked the other way, hands on her hips.

"Heh, it seems like looks _can_ be deceiving... you're not as nice as you look."

"Well, I think that looks are pretty accurate; you're certainly as aggressive and annoying as you look."

That seemed to annoy the furry spirit.

"Eh? What was that, you little stick?!" She leaned in towards the shorter girl, a dark expression on her face.

"Like you don't know, you chubby cat," retorted the long haired spirit, not backing away from her companion one bit –a feat the silent, thus far unnoticed figure silently commended, for it certainly seemed that the cat was right; looks were deceiving indeed, for he would not have guessed the little spirit to have the character he had witnessed.

"Well, like a flat-chested little girl would know the difference between fat and curves!"

_But_, he digressed. As...enlightening as this little spat was when it came to understanding the different characters of his fellow Zanpakutou, it was not helping him.

He wanted to find the one who had freed them all from their services to the Shinigami, and he was not getting any closer to finding him by watching the pair argue like a pair of adolescent, Academy students.

_This is ridiculous, _he thought to himself as he cleared his throat in the soft, graceful manner that was all but ingrained in him –a trait he shared with his wielder. Or former wielder.

"Ladi—"

"Yeah? And how did you come to that conclusion when you've never even _seen_ my chest before?" challenged the smirking long haired spirit, as she pushed her face closer to her companion's.

_Really now_, he mused, as he left aside all thoughts of alerting them to his presence and moved forward with deadly, measured grace, _this is getting rather personal. It would be best if I were to get whatever information I can, and leave, before this conversation moves to a _more_ personal topic..._

The feline spirit sneered, opening her mouth to make a no-doubt cutting remark, when she stopped abruptly.

As though they –finally- sensed his presence, both spirits turned, and as one, two pairs of previously narrowed eyes widened as they landed on him.

His lips twitched ever so slightly behind the wrathful mask he wore, as two surprised yelps filled the air before the Zanpakutou spirits scuttled backwards, clinging onto each other for a brief moment, before quickly letting go.

And to think that he had been expecting them to attack him, if he did not announce his presence.

"W-W-What?" managed the taller spirit, not looking too pleased at having been caught off guard. "A-And...how long have you been standing there for?"

_For long enough_, he thought, not very amused as he pondered on the valuable time that the pair had wasted. _His_ valuable time.

"Where is Muramasa?" he queried, his voice cold and impassive.

The two spirits stared at him, but it was the shorter one who spoke this time.

"...Muramasa-san?" She blinked, a thoughtful expression crossing her face as she stared at him, and he knew that she was attempting to discern his motives. "I haven't seen him."

He frowned at that. So it _was_ a waste of time after all.

"Why are you looking for him?" queried the feline spirit, the puzzled expression on her face quickly replaced by a somewhat shrewd one. He stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was, perhaps, smarter than her companion gave her credit for, before he snapped himself out of his thoughts.

Without a further glance at them, he turned on his heel and swiftly made his way away from them.

He was not at all pleased at the fact that he had, once again, come across a dead end.

"What's with him?" he heard the short haired spirit mutter, seemingly unaware of the fact that he could still hear her.

"I can't figure him out, no matter how hard I try..." mused the seemingly-meeker of the pair, and he resisted the urge to snort at that. There were very few who _could_ –and even then, they did not truly understand him.

Except for _him_; for the one who had awakened him, and who he, in turn, had appeared before all those years ago, was a _very _good judge of character_._

He frowned as his thoughts returned to the noble.

He needed to find the one who had turned them. He needed to find Muramasa –preferably before the rest of his fellow Zanpakutou spirits completed their general, yet still effective plan of wreaking havoc within Seireitei.

A surprised shriek from behind brought him out of his thoughts, and his shoulders tensed ever so slightly. He had not discerned any threatening presence in the forests, so it could not be a—

"Gotcha!" His brows furrowed at the smug exclamation. "Hah! I was right; you _are_ flat!"

This was followed by a startled yelp, this time, from the feline spirit.

"OW! That _hurt_!"

The noble, warrior Zanpakutou decided that he _really_ didn't want to know what was happening behind him. Those two were, quite clearly, a pair well suited to each other, judging from their behaviour.

_Then again, _he thought, absently, _if they are as distracted as they are, perhaps it is for the best._

Just before he disappeared, intent on successfully locating Muramasa, he was certain he heard a rather heated exclamation of, "I'm just slender, that's all!" by a voice that sounded suspiciously like the shorter of the two spirits he had left behind.

_Hyourinmaru...I almost pity you. _

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**A/N**

I know, I know, it probably wasn't very funny at all. It's just...well, I just _needed_ to write it out. I have no idea why, but I just needed to do it. Haineko and Tobiume are hilarious! And while I can picture Matsumoto acting in a similar manner, oh, how I _wish_ Hinamori would show some of Tobiume's character too. Well, of course, she's been through quite a bit, so we don't really know what type of character she had –not really, anyway- but...still!

Hehe, and keeping in line with this crazy idea, I have this strong and undeniably _strange_ feeling that Senbonzakura has reformed his allegiance with Byakuya. I know, I know, it's somewhat silly. But...yeah. I just had this strong feeling, especially when he asked where Muramasa was. It was probably just me and my crazy ideas getting the better of me, but I _swear_ that he sounded exactly like Byakuya when he spoke there. (But what would _that_ mean? Byakuya's playing 'dress up'? Lol, maybe not)

Anyways, enough of the craziness. I'll just head back to working on my other story.

Hope you at least had a bit of a wry smile while reading this!

Siriusgirl1


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